The Sandwich Generation
The Sandwich Generation is the label given to folks with caring responsibilities for their children and their parents.
So this is only my interpretation and I can't know how it is for you, but here goes, if the title resonates, read on:
I genuinely don't believe that either of the bread ends of the sandwich understand the impact of their dependence because if they did, then they would rethink their ways of being. So I don't believe it's intentional, for the majority of those bread characters, they don't think they are dependent on our ability to be the cheese, tuna mayo, cucumber or bacon.
They have to be how they are being in order for their survival, and I'm ok with this.
Most of the time.
For the base group, the teens, they have the ability to truly believe that we are there solely to offer our time, money, love, listening skills, our thick skin, washing machines and everything else demanded of us. As they cruise through teenage hood, their egocentric needs can be as shocking as their rigidity and stubbornness can be hurtful; especially to those providing the taste, nutrition and substance to their otherwise dry piece of bread -bread which is eager to become something flavourful on it's own.
And then when we look up, at our hierarchical parental figure, things have changed. Our lean-on them has shifted and we have had to adapt our needs and how we ask for their support according to their ability or sometimes their desire to offer us help.
It's hard to adapt, and sometimes difficult to digest as for 35+ years, they have been there for us. And then not. And the roles swap.
And the sandwich takes form.
So we juggle to keep the sandwich together. To maintain the shape, because without us, they are just dry bread waiting to become something more, and without them then we would be tasty but not fulfilling and we'd be hungry again after a little while. It takes both ingredients to make the satisfying whole.
The balance is essential, and we have to be the kitchen scales. There is only us that can weigh out the ingredients and judge how and when the sandwich needs to be assembled.
Which involves the usual shebang.
Boundaries, time for yourself, joy, fun with friends etc etc. We all know the drill, but can we all do it? Not always and sometimes we fill the sandwich too full and we spill out. But then not enough pesto and the breads is claggy and seeks us out for help.
Our parents went through this same phase and their parents too I imagine, differently though as our generations are changing constantly.
It's an inevitable culinary situation. And one that need careful dosage for it to be edible and even delicious sometimes.
And one day, one moment, one unexpected turn of events and both ends of the sandwich will be gone. And we will become the top bread, hopefully with some different awareness.
I'm hoping for more independence personally, and also, to be honest, hopefully we'll still be in our adult children's lives in order to offer them this fabulous position of being a sandwich filler!!!
- Laura