December Reflections
I can’t run.
(tumbleweed)
Those who that know me will be holding your breath, bracing for a mood change, and rapidly checking diaries to see if it's too late to cancel any plans you've made with me.
I love to run, to 'move in a way that really suits me' as my yoga teacher says. It's my freedom & my joy, my anchor. To be unable to do this for nearly a month has been a huge challenge for me, physically and mentally.
I have compensated with more yoga, more gym, more of anything else active that I can do. To other folk it probably looks like a typical Katy type schedule of activity... but ultimately I have been forced to rest.
Rest. This is such a nuanced thing.
I am acutely aware of the varying interpretations of rest, but more interestingly I’ve noticed the judgement we can make when a person is not resting in a way that feels familiar or known to us.
'Just get on the sofa watch a boxset'
'Have a lazy morning & potter'
'Maybe just sit down for a bit'
All of these options are very acceptable forms of rest. In fact they are a luxury to most folk… but they land we me like restrictions and demands.
I find myself listening to the suggestions and in my heart knowing that this festive season will need me to be as rested at I can be, to stay steady through the chaos. I question why the sofa and box set option feel like a bush tucker trial and why I’d rather dance with Nikita than have a lazy morning pottering (exactly! It doesn’t bear imagining).
I arrive at this, enforced rest is not a choice, it’s as a result of something beyond our control, and my version of rest just looks different. My rest will be another person’s dance-off; waiting to be judged.
Frozen peas & knees aside, injury or no injury, patience or frustration - the topic of rest is one for us all to really consider the month.
What does it look like for your children? Are you aware of how they really rest? What shape does it take for your family? Do you need to go to another light show or would it be more satisfying to make a toast feast and watch something on tv together? Do you know how it looks for you? How able are you to take rest before you metaphorically jump over the dog & crash to the floor?
How will you communicate that need so that other can understand & support you.
Ultimately my injury will heal & I will get back out on the trail, that part I have patience with. But in the meantime you’ll find me committing to practising rest... it might just look like yoga to you.
-Katy