Let’s Get Curious About The Phrase: Restraint Collapse
What does it mean, and what can help?
As children go back to school over the next couple of weeks, you may notice lots of talk about “restraint collapse” across social media.
What does it mean?
Those big meltdowns that you see and experience after school, are behaviours of distress that follow a full day of masking.
Children that experience this may have spent all day holding their emotions in, and so when they come back to their safe base with you, they are able to release it all.
This is where being a consistent, compassionate and connected parent comes into play.
Have a crunchy or chewy snack ready - this will both address any hunger, and the chewing can help to regulate their nervous system
Think about the journey home and what your child needs - a quiet walk, a fast scoot, music in the car. It will be different for each child, and you will know what is best (after some trial and error!).
Avoid additional tasks after school. Homework can wait. Connection is more important, so build in time to do something that you know you can enjoy together.
Headphones and EarPods can be a way that your kids and teens minimise sensory overload and down regulates...they aren't always ignoring you, they are often recalibrating.
Agreed time on appropriate technology - IF your child can manage the transition off the technology when time is up
Keep the connection during the school day - notes in their bag, sew a kiss or smiley face into their inside sleeve, a transition object from home, that end of day text that isn't a request or a question...just a connection.
